Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
