Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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