Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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