wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
