Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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