does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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