i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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