this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
