The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
