I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
