we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
