i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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