Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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