So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
