He is like the real live version of the state fair..
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
