was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
