do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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