let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
