Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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