theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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