so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
