We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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