Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
