Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
