He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
