Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
