You can't special order awesome
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
