just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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