Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I currently don't understand fingers.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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