Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
