Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
