Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
