So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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