when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
