He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
