How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she pinky promised me she was 18
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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