He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
