Im at strip club and am horny
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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