Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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