If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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