it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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