"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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