We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
