a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
