every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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