# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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