she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
