oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize