i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
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On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
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the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
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