I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My vagina just recognized that song.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
