Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
