come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
