1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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