So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
