you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She's like a pop up book from hell.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
