had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize