Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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