I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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