she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
