I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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