I wannas sexs uuuuu
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
