Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
