He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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