I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
